Alan Carr Quotes

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Alan Carr

Profession : Comedian

Birth : June 14, 1976

Suggesting that just because someone who is on the telly has a superior moral viewpoint to someone who say, shelf stacks at Aldi is ridiculous.

Alan Carr

I've already brought enough shame on the family without halting the family tree.

Alan Carr

Let's be honest, you're very selfish in your twenties, and in your thirties you are just trying to get a down payment for your flat or enough money to pay your bills.

Alan Carr

I'm old school, when I go on stage, I want every single person in that theatre to have the time of their life. I don't want to upset someone on their night off when they've been working all week.

Alan Carr

I know David Walliams did 'Blankety Blank', and when he did that I was so jealous. I would have loved to have done that. It's sort of my sense of humour.

Alan Carr

Children? No, no, no. I struggle with a red setter.

Alan Carr

There's a reason 'The Price Is Right' is on in every country in the world. It's simple, and people want to know the price of things. Plus we give away brilliant prizes.

Alan Carr

Even if people threw tomatoes at me and booed me off stage, at least you can wash out tomatoes, unlike nine hours of abuse from the general public which can affect your mental health.

Alan Carr

A fortune-teller said my future lay in comedy.

Alan Carr

I do my own stunts. You see someone like Graham Norton would have had a stunt double, but no, I give 100 per cent to my viewers.

Alan Carr

At school people laughed at me, not with me.

Alan Carr

Drag queens in the UK, they survive it all - there's a hen party, a stag party, people throwing beer bottles. They work not on their heels, but on their wits.

Alan Carr

I don't want to patronise my audience.

Alan Carr

You survive cancer but you have still got the emotional baggage.

Alan Carr

When things finish, you think, 'It's over' but you realise sometimes, it's just the beginning of something else.

Alan Carr

How can you explain to Americans who Kim Woodburn is? It's just nice, for once in my life, to not be the campest one in the room.

Alan Carr

But there's something delightfully old-school about sitting in the BBC - obviously wearing a bow tie and monocle - with a co-presenter who forgets there's a webcam in there. It's also nice to hear from the general public when they're not swearing at you or asking to extend their credit limit.

Alan Carr

Doing stand up helps - thinking on your feet definitely comes in handy when it's a live show.

Alan Carr

I think familiarity breeds contempt. I mean, we'll never get another Greta Garbo will we? Someone would go in with a camera Sellotaped to the bottom of a tray trying to get film of her with no make-up on.

Alan Carr

Explaining 'The Price Is Right' is probably going to make it sound like the most moronic show ever. I invite people out of the audience to guess the price of a series of household objects.

Alan Carr