Alan King Quotes

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Alan King

Profession : Comedian

Birth : December 26, 1927

Right when I started in show... Milton Berle was my first idol. When I was a kid, I went to see Milton at Lowe's State, and I never laughed so much, and I said, 'That's who I want to be; that's what I want to be.'

Alan King

I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

Alan King

Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for a priest, after declaring to his astonished relatives that 'I want to convert.' Asked why he would become a Catholic, after living all his life as a Jew, he answered: 'Better one of them should die than one of us.'

Alan King

Smoked salmon is for dinner. Belly lox is for breakfast. Don't get that mixed up.

Alan King

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

Alan King

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.

Alan King

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

Alan King

My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

Alan King

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

Alan King

It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

Alan King

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

Alan King

You only live once, except for Shirley MacLaine.

Alan King

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

Alan King