Andy Rooney Quotes

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Andy Rooney

Profession : Journalist

Birth : January 14, 1919

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.

Andy Rooney

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

Andy Rooney

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Andy Rooney

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Andy Rooney

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Andy Rooney

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Andy Rooney

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

Andy Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Andy Rooney

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Andy Rooney

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Andy Rooney

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

Andy Rooney

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

Andy Rooney

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Andy Rooney

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

Andy Rooney

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

Andy Rooney

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

Andy Rooney

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

Andy Rooney

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

Andy Rooney

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.

Andy Rooney