Arthur Smith Quotes

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Arthur Smith

Profession : Comedian

Birth : November 27, 1954

When a writer dies you get a higher standard of obituary.

Arthur Smith

My eyebrows could do with a trim.

Arthur Smith

I myself am pathetically impressed when I meet writers of very long novels. How can they spend so many hundreds of hours at the miserable, lonely pastime of creating fiction?

Arthur Smith

When they meet a stand-up comic, people sometimes remark: 'That must be the hardest job in the world.' Among comedians, only Freddie Starr is not embarrassed and slightly appalled by this remark.

Arthur Smith

A savage review is much more entertaining for the reader than an admiring one; the little misanthrope in each of us relishes the rubbishing of someone else.

Arthur Smith

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

Arthur Smith

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it.

Arthur Smith

Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office.

Arthur Smith

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s.

Arthur Smith

About every four years, someone says to me, 'I've got a friend who looks exactly like you.' What can you say to this?

Arthur Smith

I've always been interested in art.

Arthur Smith

Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I move.

Arthur Smith

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

Arthur Smith

Theatricals can be irritating, but will provide a better night out than mobile phone salespeople.

Arthur Smith

The book may be garbage, but if it weighs in at a kilo or more, I stand before its author in awe.

Arthur Smith

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

Arthur Smith

I have a suspicion that a lot of artists are trying to get a laugh but, unlike stand-ups, they don't get an immediate response from their audience; a laugh is a rare thing in a gallery.

Arthur Smith

Acting is the most demanding, painful job in the world.

Arthur Smith

I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

Arthur Smith

A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just taking a break from the appalling Men & Motors channel. I don't agree.

Arthur Smith