Carl Hiaasen Quotes

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Carl Hiaasen

Profession : Writer

Birth : March 12, 1953

I'd love to see a good script of one of my books, in these years of animations and comic book sequels, and had so many written over the years, but none quite clicked.

Carl Hiaasen

When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else.

Carl Hiaasen

To me, the newspaper business was a way to learn about life and how things worked in the real world and how people spoke. You learn all the skills - you learn to listen, you learn to take notes - everything you use later as a novelist was valuable training in the newspaper world. But I always wanted to write novels.

Carl Hiaasen

My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally.

Carl Hiaasen

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.

Carl Hiaasen

Obviously you have to make a profit to put out a newspaper. I'm not an idiot. But when the margins are in excess of 25 per cent you're talking about greed.

Carl Hiaasen

Disney's something to be a little alarmed about. It's not just a little theme park anymore. It's now an ethic and outlook and strategy that goes way beyond central Florida.

Carl Hiaasen

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.

Carl Hiaasen

There is no writer's block in a newsroom. There's only unemployment block.

Carl Hiaasen

I've never progressed very far from my days as a smart aleck in middle school.

Carl Hiaasen

There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, 'look!'

Carl Hiaasen

When I'm deciding to read a book, I never open to the first chapter, because that's been revised and worked over 88 times. I'll just turn to the middle of the book, to the middle of a chapter, and just read a random page and I'll know right away whether this is the real deal or not.

Carl Hiaasen

I got overwhelmed by the magnitude of the celebrity culture in America. My background is as a news journalist, and newsrooms in the US are shrinking - investigation teams are being terminated or shrunk on newspapers all around the country. The one aspect that's expanded is coverage of celebrity culture.

Carl Hiaasen

I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites.

Carl Hiaasen

When you put on the suits, when you pretend you're honest and you're robbing at a far higher level, these guys deserve to... well, to be in my novels, and I have special fates reserved for them.

Carl Hiaasen

If you write satire, the guilty pleasure these days is that there's just so much material about. On the other hand, if you have a family it can be depressing.

Carl Hiaasen

Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original.

Carl Hiaasen

As frightening as this may sound, what you see in the books is the way I see the world. And so far I haven't seen anything, either in Florida or elsewhere, to dissuade me from it.

Carl Hiaasen

Kids feel so strongly about what's going on today and what's happening to the world, and that's very inspiring. I feel more hopeful than ever before about the future.

Carl Hiaasen

You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don't get past the third paragraph you've wasted your energy and valuable ink.

Carl Hiaasen