Charlie Brooker Quotes

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Charlie Brooker

Profession : Critic

Birth : March 3, 1971

There's so much stuff flying around online, and it's so easy to get into arguments with people.

Charlie Brooker

Tinder is the ultimate gamification of romance. It's 'Pokemon Go' for the heart.

Charlie Brooker

I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net.

Charlie Brooker

I do think that it's a dysfunctional relationship between columnists and commentators, because they both seem to hate each other, like a terrible marriage.

Charlie Brooker

Short of finding a place on the witness protection programme, you don't get many opportunities to completely reinvent your life. Going to university changes that. Away from home, away from parents, away from anyone who remembers you from school, you can pretend to be far cooler and more experienced than you are.

Charlie Brooker

Videogames are probably my first love.

Charlie Brooker

If I ran a national burger franchise - which I don't - I'd make it a rule that no two customers can be greeted with precisely the same words and that every third customer must be grossly insulted as a matter of course. Just to keep the atmosphere nice and lively. And to keep the staff laughing.

Charlie Brooker

The majority of people are perfectly capable of interacting with retail staff without spitting on them or whipping their hides like dawdling cattle, but Planet Earth still harbours more than its fair share of disappointments.

Charlie Brooker

We're inseparable, games and I. If you cut me, I'd bleed pixels. Or blood. Probably blood, come to think of it.

Charlie Brooker

I've scaled back my involvement with Twitter; it's too easy to get dragged into an argument.

Charlie Brooker

Everyone's opened a drawer and been startled by the unexpected discovery of an old mobile phone that now resembles an outsized pantomime prop. To think you used to be impressed by this clunky breezeblock. You were like a caveman gawping at a yo-yo.

Charlie Brooker

The sole purpose of a crown is to make anyone not wearing one feel like an insignificant pauper. They're obscene to the point of satire.

Charlie Brooker

I've got a phobia about throwing up.

Charlie Brooker

I liked 'Making A Murderer,' 'Master of None.' 'Stranger Things' I watched along with everyone else in the world. 'Narcos,' I really liked 'Narcos' a lot.

Charlie Brooker

I never really thought of myself as a TV critic. I was presenting TV before I was writing about it.

Charlie Brooker

I've got no attention span.

Charlie Brooker

I can't imagine voluntarily standing beside an F1 track in the rain, watching motorised wedges plastered in corporate decals zooming past at 500mph.

Charlie Brooker

What's odd about the selfie stick is that while it might faintly improve the photo you'll post on Facebook, it definitely makes you seem like a shallow, awful clown to any bystanders in the humdrum physical space you're posing in.

Charlie Brooker

I can't rank anything. I mean, how could anyone possibly say what their favourite piece of music is? I don't have the ability or the desire to categorise things of that nature.

Charlie Brooker

All Pixar movies are heartbreaking, aren't they?

Charlie Brooker