Chris Farley Quotes

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Chris Farley

Profession : Comedian

Birth : February 15, 1964

I don't know what the future holds. All I know is, I'm good today. Real good.

Chris Farley

I remember one time when all the nuns in my Catholic grade school got around in a semicircle, me and Mom in the middle, and they said, 'Mrs. Farley, the children at school are laughing at Christopher, not with him.' I thought, 'Who cares? As long as they're laughing.'

Chris Farley

I went and worked for my dad after school. I'd show up late and stuff like that.

Chris Farley

You enter strong and you exit strong, and you're going to be OK.

Chris Farley

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

Chris Farley

People... need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.'

Chris Farley

Although I love this kind of comedy, sometimes I feel trapped by always having to be the most outrageous guy in the room. In particular, I'm working on trying not to be that guy in my private life.

Chris Farley

I seem to get motivated a few months at a time, and then something stressful breaks the routine, and I just fold.

Chris Farley

I can't help it. I want to be a good Catholic, but I'm a hedonist.

Chris Farley

I signed on as the clown, and, by golly, I'll keep up my end of the bargain.

Chris Farley

I want to live fast and die young.

Chris Farley

I went down to Chicago to try to go into a place called Second City. I auditioned for that and got in pretty quickly, but I couldn't stop partying. They gave me a warning: 'If you do it again, we're gonna kick you off the main stage.'

Chris Farley

Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes.

Chris Farley

I was glad to be sober, but after ninety days, people weren't patting me on the back anymore, sayin', 'Good job on the sobriety! Go get 'em!'

Chris Farley

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.

Chris Farley

Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt.

Chris Farley

Everyone is treating it like a Hollywood story. In Madison, it's a neighborhood story.

Chris Farley

New York was scary, coming from the Midwest. At first, I thought I'd come in all cocky, like, 'I'm gonna bring this town to its knees!' After about a month, I was like, 'I wanna go home.'

Chris Farley

I have a nice apartment now that's all taken care of. I make my bed every day.

Chris Farley

I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like that. But I'm curbing them because I want to continue to do comedy, and the two don't mix. So I try to fight those demons.

Chris Farley