Craig Ferguson Quotes

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Craig Ferguson

Profession : Comedian

Birth : May 17, 1962

I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'

Craig Ferguson

I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

Craig Ferguson

All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals.

Craig Ferguson

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.

Craig Ferguson

My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.

Craig Ferguson

I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn't mean that at all. It means that you're afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right.

Craig Ferguson

It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy.

Craig Ferguson

When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.

Craig Ferguson

I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.'

Craig Ferguson

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

Craig Ferguson

I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.

Craig Ferguson

I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available.

Craig Ferguson

HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it.

Craig Ferguson

It's like, it's kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that's my show. It's a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it.

Craig Ferguson

I don't get emails from my corporate overlords.

Craig Ferguson

It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television.

Craig Ferguson

I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.

Craig Ferguson

Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'

Craig Ferguson

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.

Craig Ferguson

I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.

Craig Ferguson