Dave Attell Quotes

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Dave Attell

Profession : Comedian

Birth : January 18, 1965

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

Dave Attell

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Dave Attell

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

Dave Attell

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

Dave Attell

I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.

Dave Attell

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

Dave Attell

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

Dave Attell

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

Dave Attell

I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.

Dave Attell

A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.

Dave Attell

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

Dave Attell

I'm not really a music guy.

Dave Attell

Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.

Dave Attell

I'm not like a performer type.

Dave Attell

My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.

Dave Attell

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Dave Attell

I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.

Dave Attell

I never wanted to be famous.

Dave Attell

I have no grand scheme.

Dave Attell

I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.

Dave Attell