Denis Leary Quotes

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Denis Leary

Profession : Actor

Birth : August 18, 1957

It says on the back of the Nyquil box, 'May cause drowsiness.' It should say, 'Don't make any plans, OK? Kiss your family and friends good-bye.'

Denis Leary

My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in.

Denis Leary

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

Denis Leary

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.

Denis Leary

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

Denis Leary

We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!

Denis Leary

When I go to Batman movies, I always think, 'Man, I would like to be a bad guy in a Batman movie.' especially as they got darker when they go to the Christian Bale era.

Denis Leary

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

Denis Leary

Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh.

Denis Leary

Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it.

Denis Leary

Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.

Denis Leary

Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.

Denis Leary

People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!

Denis Leary

I like Jesus, I mean, I think he was a good guy.

Denis Leary

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

Denis Leary

I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought, 'If these guys can do it, then so can I.'

Denis Leary

Willem Dafoe and I are actually the same person.

Denis Leary

I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.

Denis Leary

One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own.

Denis Leary

I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.

Denis Leary