George Burns Quotes

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George Burns

Profession : Comedian

Birth : January 20, 1896

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

George Burns

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

George Burns

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

George Burns

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

George Burns

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

George Burns

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

George Burns

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

George Burns

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

George Burns

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns

How can I die? I'm booked.

George Burns

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

George Burns

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

George Burns

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

George Burns

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

George Burns