Jon Richardson Quotes

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Jon Richardson

Profession : Comedian

Birth : September 26, 1982

It would be nice to be a piece of toast. Everyone likes a piece of toast, don't they? No one is ever sad when you offer them a piece of toast, and if I could be that to someone, that would be nice.

Jon Richardson

I'm almost always trying to be funny, even when I'm on my own. I think it's the desire to channel my anger and frustration into something more positive than sitting at home being unpleasant.

Jon Richardson

My mum's amazing. She's the person I admire most, I think, in her sacrifice to me and my sister and her level of emotional sacrifice to people around her. She takes a high level of personal responsibility for the welfare of people around her.

Jon Richardson

I put a lot of effort into not upsetting people and trying to do things the right way, so I feel I can reserve the right to complain when I feel let down by others.

Jon Richardson

I always mention stacking the dishwasher - any opportunity. But it's the consequences - it's the food poisoning and the potential death that will come with not loading the dishwasher properly.

Jon Richardson

OCD is a really serious condition - it's a proper thing. It's not just, 'Oh, you like your pens to be straight'. For me, it would always go in tandem with being unhappy. The unhappier I was, the worse it got.

Jon Richardson

My wife's biggest fear is air pollution, living in London as we do. She's convinced that's the big problem. And my own is sink holes and the inevitability of us all, at some point, collapsing into a sink hole and never being seen again.

Jon Richardson

I think more people should worry about where they store things in the fridge. I don't think people are on top of separating raw and cooked ingredients.

Jon Richardson

I think anyone can bake, but I don't think I can bake well. I sort of feel like baking is just, like, chocolate and butter and sugar, and that is always nice, so I think anyone can bake, you can put those things together, and it will come out all right. The next level of that, I definitely can't do.

Jon Richardson

I really like stews: everything in a bowl boiled down right to its essence.

Jon Richardson

If I watch 'The X Factor,' I know I'm never going to aspire to sing, so I don't mind if they're good or bad, but when I watch 'Bake Off,' because I aspire to be good at it, I find it easy to try and put myself in their position.

Jon Richardson

If I'm with someone, I want them to be perfectly happy all the time. That, for me, would be the reason you would devote yourself to one person.

Jon Richardson

I accept you can't achieve perfection all the time, but you can achieve perfection of intent, maybe. I don't think you can go into a relationship with anything other than the intention of it being perfect.

Jon Richardson

I'm not building my life round not being able to bear the thought of being in my 60s and not having someone next to me when I wake up in the morning. That's not what drives me.

Jon Richardson

If you don't wash dishes properly, you will get ill. And you will lose friends because they'll come to your house, you'll give them tea in a filthy cup, and they'll never see you again.

Jon Richardson

The only big life challenge I think I'm worried about is a mid-life crisis because I've done so little. I think if people who've lived normal lives have mid-life crises and buy motorbikes, what is a man who's done nothing?

Jon Richardson

No book has ever made me laugh as much as 'I, Partridge.'

Jon Richardson

'One Leg Too Few' by Peter Cook is a perfect sketch. The setting is ridiculous, the language is beautiful, and the performances make the most of every syllable and movement.

Jon Richardson

I think comedy can be a way of sugar-coating a pill that needs to be taken, and whatever I complain about onstage, I hope I justify the negativity by using humour to make the point.

Jon Richardson

I certainly tried to talk about less complex things, but I've had to accept that it's just not what I do. That isn't to say that my shows are depressing - they aren't. At least, I hope they aren't! The problem I have with stories about happy things is that they don't require any skill from a comic - they just repeat the details verbatim.

Jon Richardson