Joseph Heller Quotes

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Joseph Heller

Profession : Novelist

Birth : May 1, 1923

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Joseph Heller

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Joseph Heller

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

Joseph Heller

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

Joseph Heller

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Joseph Heller

Rise above principle and do what's right.

Joseph Heller

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

Joseph Heller

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'

Joseph Heller

The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.

Joseph Heller

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

Joseph Heller

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

Joseph Heller

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

Joseph Heller

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Joseph Heller

Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You'll always regret it.

Joseph Heller

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.

Joseph Heller

I do not have, and never had, any interest in either the Bible or religion.

Joseph Heller

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

Joseph Heller

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

Joseph Heller

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

Joseph Heller

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

Joseph Heller