Lewis Grizzard Quotes

Author Image

Lewis Grizzard

Profession : Writer

Birth : October 20, 1946

I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?'

Lewis Grizzard

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Lewis Grizzard

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Lewis Grizzard

Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.

Lewis Grizzard

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

Lewis Grizzard

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Lewis Grizzard

I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate.

Lewis Grizzard

'Redneck' has been terribly abused as a term. Where I come from, a redneck was a farmer who worked the fields all day and got his neck sunburned. People made fun of them.

Lewis Grizzard

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Lewis Grizzard

The South is the last place with a sense of place.

Lewis Grizzard

I think people are a lot more sensitive than they used to be, and quite rightly so. I don't think we should be using racial jokes and things like that.

Lewis Grizzard

Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today.

Lewis Grizzard

I'd like to know what I could do if I really had the time to spend on writing a book, with no columns or shows to do at the same time.

Lewis Grizzard

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

Lewis Grizzard

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.

Lewis Grizzard

A little irreverence is always important to being a columnist. I try to do that.

Lewis Grizzard

I'm a staunch believer in enterprise, and I'm glad I live in a country where - I don't think some people understand this, but if I work hard, I get rewarded for it.

Lewis Grizzard

I don't know how I do it, but I've written about everything. I've written about my shoes.

Lewis Grizzard

I wish one time in my life I could do what other writers do... get me a villa in Spain and go there to write a book.

Lewis Grizzard

Show business is my life.

Lewis Grizzard