Mark Twain Quotes

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Mark Twain

Profession : Writer

Birth : November 30, 1835

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Mark Twain

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Mark Twain

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Mark Twain

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

Mark Twain

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Mark Twain

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Mark Twain

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Mark Twain

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Mark Twain

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Mark Twain

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Mark Twain

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.

Mark Twain

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

Mark Twain

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain