Mike Birbiglia Quotes

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Mike Birbiglia

Profession : Comedian

Birth : June 20, 1978

I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.

Mike Birbiglia

I think the thing I had to be careful about while writing a book was not to say anything that was revealing about other people that they would be uncomfortable with. I didn't want to make people angry - that's a real risk.

Mike Birbiglia

I feel like people have more in common than the news reports. People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing.

Mike Birbiglia

Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.

Mike Birbiglia

There's something about small venues that's amazing for developing material. It's almost like you can not only hear people's response, but you can understand it. In bigger venues you lose that, but you gain this sense of camaraderie in the audience.

Mike Birbiglia

Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you can write all day. The baristas don't glare at you. They don't even look at you.

Mike Birbiglia

Growing up, I was discouraged from telling personal stories. My dad often used the phrase 'Don't tell anyone.' But not about creepy things. I don't want to lead you down the wrong path. It would be about insignificant things. Like, I wouldn't make the soccer team, and my father would say, 'Don't tell anyone.'

Mike Birbiglia

I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal.

Mike Birbiglia

I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.

Mike Birbiglia

Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.

Mike Birbiglia

You have to be delusional to be a comedian.

Mike Birbiglia

I just don't give off a great first impression.

Mike Birbiglia

When I go to bed at night, I wear a sleeping bag. And for a long time, I wore mittens so that I couldn't open the sleeping bag.

Mike Birbiglia

I majored in screenwriting and playwriting in school - and wanted to make films as a career. But when I directed my first short in college - which was called 'Extras' - I lost thousands of dollars and made an unsatisfying and incomplete film.

Mike Birbiglia

I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'

Mike Birbiglia

Sometimes I take this women's exercise class called Core Fusion at a place called Exhale. I shouldn't say it's a women's class. There's maybe two men.

Mike Birbiglia

Nothing that you want ever is what you think it is.

Mike Birbiglia

I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I'm eating pizza. Like, I'm so content with myself with how it's going that I'm like, 'I should do this more,' not realizing that the mouth is full. I'm just cramming pizza into my mouth.

Mike Birbiglia

I consider Lena Dunham a comedian.

Mike Birbiglia

I gravitated toward stand-up because there's no overhead. I mean, literally, there's no overhead: Often, you're outdoors performing in front of groups of people.

Mike Birbiglia