Norm MacDonald Quotes

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Norm MacDonald

Profession : Actor

Birth : October 17, 1963

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

Norm MacDonald

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.

Norm MacDonald

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

Norm MacDonald

I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on.

Norm MacDonald

When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that.

Norm MacDonald

With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don't like big houses, I don't drive a car, so you know, I just live in a small apartment and I have my computer, which is really cool.

Norm MacDonald

My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!

Norm MacDonald

I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.

Norm MacDonald

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Norm MacDonald

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

Norm MacDonald

You're trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent's the same. It's not like you're trying to do evil to them.

Norm MacDonald

I don't know anything about politics. I wouldn't put too much into my prediction on politics.

Norm MacDonald

A lot of people think I'm difficult to work with. It's not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn't really matter. I guess I'm somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy.

Norm MacDonald

I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.

Norm MacDonald

I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.

Norm MacDonald

There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I'm like - 'I can't laugh that much. That's so weird to me.'

Norm MacDonald

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

Norm MacDonald

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

Norm MacDonald

I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.

Norm MacDonald

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

Norm MacDonald