P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

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P. J. O'Rourke

Profession : Comedian

Birth : November 14, 1947

Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.

P. J. O'Rourke

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

P. J. O'Rourke

I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.

P. J. O'Rourke

Never fight an inanimate object.

P. J. O'Rourke

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

P. J. O'Rourke

Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human.

P. J. O'Rourke

If you think health care is expensive now, just wait 'til it's free.

P. J. O'Rourke

I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics.

P. J. O'Rourke

Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.

P. J. O'Rourke

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.

P. J. O'Rourke

If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.

P. J. O'Rourke

Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace.

P. J. O'Rourke

Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.

P. J. O'Rourke

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.

P. J. O'Rourke

Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter.

P. J. O'Rourke

In thirteen years, every aspect of the universe can change - ask a thirteen-year-old.

P. J. O'Rourke