Richard Belzer Quotes

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Richard Belzer

Profession : Comedian

Birth : August 4, 1944

My grandmother was very funny. It skipped a generation.

Richard Belzer

I've known Chevy Chase for so long, I actually knew him when he was funny!

Richard Belzer

If you tell a lie that's big enough, and you tell it often enough, people will believe you're telling the truth, even if what you're saying is total crap.

Richard Belzer

The Kennedy assassination is one of the ghostliest parts of our history. The Kennedy family - that's our royalty. It's fascinating and tragic and just strikes to the heart of our country. Here's the youngest president ever, full of hope and promise, and he made government service seem like it was dignified.

Richard Belzer

In 1985, I was the host of a talk show, 'Hot Properties on Lifetime.' Hulk Hogan was on the show. He put me in a headlock and rendered me unconscious and let me fall to the ground. I split my head open and got nine stitches - and this was on live TV.

Richard Belzer

If ever there was a misnomer in the political lexicon, surely 'values voters' is the all-time champ. The use of this term to describe the so-called base of the Republicans' so-called party mainly refers to an extremist, ultra-conservative, strain of so-called Christian conservatives.

Richard Belzer

Everything is a conspiracy. People kind of demonize the word. But a conspiracy is when two people get together and do something. So, if more than one person does something, it's a conspiracy. The revolution was a conspiracy, Iran Contra, Watergate.

Richard Belzer

Exercise is the fountain of youth, I believe.

Richard Belzer

Have you noticed that the meanest, shrillest, least compassionate and most heartless people who are well off and have all the medical coverage they'll ever need are seemingly sickened beyond cure by the notion that someone who literally cannot afford health care is somehow beneath contempt and must be vilified and humiliated?

Richard Belzer

One person, one vote sounds so reasonable and - dare I say it - democratic. But the voting process in America is anything but fair and balanced.

Richard Belzer

Arguably, the first five years of 'Saturday Night Live' were some of the most radical things ever seen on television. When NBC said, 'Okay, you can do a show from 11:30 to 1 on Saturday night,' they didn't think anyone would watch. It was like giving a piece of the candy store to the kids.

Richard Belzer

'SNL' came out in the '70s. It's a different zeitgeist. It's hard to re-create it, just as it would be hard to do a black-and-white noir film now. The culture's different.

Richard Belzer

I was thrown out of every school I ever went to.

Richard Belzer

I went to several public schools. I went to religious school. I was thrown out of Hebrew school, which was the final straw. They said, 'God doesn't like you anymore. Go eat pork.'

Richard Belzer

I'm a huge Obama supporter.

Richard Belzer

Cancer is a cosmic slap in the face. You either get discouraged or ennobled by it.

Richard Belzer

To be able to work for 20 years as an actor in an industry that is not so predictable, I'm grateful every day. I'll do it till I drop, I guess - or drop out.

Richard Belzer

As a result of being on 'SVU' and 'Homicide' all these years, there's a lot of people who don't know I used to do stand-up. When they see me onstage, it's a surprise, and it's revelatory. I'm happy because I can do my old material, so everybody wins.

Richard Belzer

There's a lot of children that go to bed every night hungry in New York City, and it's shameful. That's really disturbing to me.

Richard Belzer

The number one job for me is to make people laugh. If I can also make people think, then that's a cool thing.

Richard Belzer