Robert Orben Quotes

Robert Orben

Profession : Entertainer

Birth : March 4, 1927

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Robert Orben

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Robert Orben

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Robert Orben

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Robert Orben

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Robert Orben

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Robert Orben

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben

Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.

Robert Orben

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

Robert Orben

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Robert Orben

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

Robert Orben

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Robert Orben

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Robert Orben

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

Robert Orben

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Robert Orben

President Ford used humor a great deal.

Robert Orben