Why do people - gay or straight - need the state's permission to marry? For most of Western history, they didn't, because marriage was a private contract between two families. The parents' agreement to the match, not the approval of church or state, was what confirmed its validity.

Stephanie Coontz

Using the existence of a marriage license to determine when the state should protect interpersonal relationships is increasingly impractical.

Stephanie Coontz

Deciding together to have a child and sharing in child-rearing do not immunize a marriage. Indeed, collaborative couples can face other problems. They often embark on such an intense style of parenting that they end up paying less attention to each other.

Stephanie Coontz

Couples need time alone to renew their relationship. They also need to sustain supportive networks of friends and family.

Stephanie Coontz

Contrary to myth, 'The Feminine Mystique' and feminism did not represent the beginning of the decline of the stay-at-home mother but a turning point that led to much stronger legal rights and 'working conditions' for her.

Stephanie Coontz

A primary motivation for introducing no-fault divorce was, in fact, to reduce perjury in the legal system.

Stephanie Coontz

Social changes always involve trade-offs.

Stephanie Coontz

Unilateral divorce has decreased the bargaining power of the person who wants the marriage to last and has not engaged in behavior that meets the legal definition of fault. On the other hand, it has increased the bargaining power of the person who is willing to leave.

Stephanie Coontz

To my mind, it is better to have regrets about the good aspects of your former marriage because you were able to work past some of your accumulated resentments than to have no regrets because you had to ratchet up the hostility to get out in the first place.

Stephanie Coontz

There is no denying that we have made great progress toward gender equality.

Stephanie Coontz

Usually, Valentine's Day comes and goes with just a day or two of news media attention to courtship and marriage.

Stephanie Coontz

Hyper-parenting has many pitfalls. Overprotected and overpraised children may develop an inflated sense of entitlement.

Stephanie Coontz

Historically, mass demonstrations have worked best at shifting public opinion and pressuring the powers-that-be when organizers highlighted one concrete demand: 'Bring Our Boys Home from Vietnam'; 'End Segregation Now'; 'Support Women's Right to Choose.'

Stephanie Coontz

Feminism needs a political program because gender inequality has been fostered by political decisions.

Stephanie Coontz

Inequality was written into the creation of the American Republic when our Founding Fathers denied voting rights to women.

Stephanie Coontz

Being a feminist is not about how successful, talented, and assertive you are in your own life. It's about whether you support the struggle to overcome the limiting gendered stereotypes and barriers that force so many women to restrict their aspirations as workers, to fulfill their aspirations as parents, and force so many men to do the opposite.

Stephanie Coontz

Second marriages can and do create 'real' families.

Stephanie Coontz

For most of America's history, people typically aspired to acquire 'a competency' rather than great riches. A competency meant the ability to comfortably sustain a household without depending on others. 'Competence' also meant being capable and reliable. The American Dream was that people who worked hard and capably could support their families.

Stephanie Coontz

Americans are right to believe the American Dream is fading. But that dream only became a possibility for white men as a result of the labor struggles and reforms of the New Deal, and it began to extend to minorities and women only after the civil rights and women's movements of the 1960s and 1970s.

Stephanie Coontz

You can't judge a family's health by the form it's in at a given moment.

Stephanie Coontz

Stephanie Coontz Quotes

Why do people - gay or straight - need the state's permission to marry? For most of Western history, they didn't, because marriage was a private contract between two families. The parents' agreement to the match, not the approval of church or state, was what confirmed its validity.

Using the existence of a marriage license to determine when the state should protect interpersonal relationships is increasingly impractical.

Deciding together to have a child and sharing in child-rearing do not immunize a marriage. Indeed, collaborative couples can face other problems. They often embark on such an intense style of parenting that they end up paying less attention to each other.

Couples need time alone to renew their relationship. They also need to sustain supportive networks of friends and family.

Contrary to myth, 'The Feminine Mystique' and feminism did not represent the beginning of the decline of the stay-at-home mother but a turning point that led to much stronger legal rights and 'working conditions' for her.

A primary motivation for introducing no-fault divorce was, in fact, to reduce perjury in the legal system.

Social changes always involve trade-offs.

Unilateral divorce has decreased the bargaining power of the person who wants the marriage to last and has not engaged in behavior that meets the legal definition of fault. On the other hand, it has increased the bargaining power of the person who is willing to leave.

To my mind, it is better to have regrets about the good aspects of your former marriage because you were able to work past some of your accumulated resentments than to have no regrets because you had to ratchet up the hostility to get out in the first place.

There is no denying that we have made great progress toward gender equality.

Usually, Valentine's Day comes and goes with just a day or two of news media attention to courtship and marriage.

Hyper-parenting has many pitfalls. Overprotected and overpraised children may develop an inflated sense of entitlement.

Historically, mass demonstrations have worked best at shifting public opinion and pressuring the powers-that-be when organizers highlighted one concrete demand: 'Bring Our Boys Home from Vietnam'; 'End Segregation Now'; 'Support Women's Right to Choose.'

Feminism needs a political program because gender inequality has been fostered by political decisions.

Inequality was written into the creation of the American Republic when our Founding Fathers denied voting rights to women.

Second marriages can and do create 'real' families.

You can't judge a family's health by the form it's in at a given moment.