Stephen Colbert Quotes

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Stephen Colbert

Profession : Comedian

Birth : May 13, 1964

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

Stephen Colbert

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the furthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness: a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say 'no.' But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow.

Stephen Colbert

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

Stephen Colbert

I love 'Sunday in the Park with George.' I saw that when I was just, just starting theater school, and I remember singing 'Finishing the Hat' or at least reading the lyrics to 'Finishing the Hat' and other songs from 'Sunday in the Park with George' to my mom to try to explain why I wanted to be an artist.

Stephen Colbert

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

Stephen Colbert

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.

Stephen Colbert

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

Stephen Colbert

I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.

Stephen Colbert

The truthiness is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news 'at' you.

Stephen Colbert

If you don't give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don't hurt you anymore. And you actually have power over those people.

Stephen Colbert

Reality has a well-known liberal bias.

Stephen Colbert

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids. Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche and then applies an antibiotic cream. You gotta keep it away from your eyes.

Stephen Colbert

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

Stephen Colbert

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.

Stephen Colbert

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

Stephen Colbert

There's a degree of narcissism involved in anything in show business. I mean, you can't do it without a healthy ego. Why would you want anybody to listen to you?

Stephen Colbert

I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.

Stephen Colbert

What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.

Stephen Colbert

It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.

Stephen Colbert

You can't really be passionately moderate. It's like wearing an 'Extra Medium' - it doesn't exist.

Stephen Colbert