Stephen Colbert Quotes

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Stephen Colbert

Profession : Comedian

Birth : May 13, 1964

I'm very comfortable with uncomfortable situations, and I think that can seem odd to people, that I like the thrill of discomfort.

Stephen Colbert

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

Stephen Colbert

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

Stephen Colbert

I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.

Stephen Colbert

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.

Stephen Colbert

I do love my country. I don't think I'm particularly a good American. I don't know what makes a good American. Other than somebody who - I like people who let other people alone. I think that's a pretty good American. And I keep my hands to myself. So I'm an OK American.

Stephen Colbert

I started off at the Second City in Chicago... It's an improvisational theater that ostensibly does social and political satire, but when I was there, we generally didn't. We did character work, and we did just the silliest things we could think of. We weren't all that concerned with, you know, changing the world through mime.

Stephen Colbert

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Stephen Colbert

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.

Stephen Colbert

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.

Stephen Colbert

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.

Stephen Colbert

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

Stephen Colbert

Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!

Stephen Colbert

I have a morality. I don't know if it's the best morality. And I do like thinking. If people perceive that as a moral intellectualism, that's fine. That's up to them to decide.

Stephen Colbert

I like to do things that are publicly embarrassing, to feel the embarrassment touch me and sink into me and then be gone. I like getting on elevators and singing too loudly in that small space. The feeling you feel is almost like a vapor. The discomfort and the wishing that it would end that comes around you.

Stephen Colbert

Late-night shows are 'Chopped.' Who are your guests tonight? Your guests tonight are veal tongue, coffee grounds and gummy bears. There, make a show ... Make an appetizer that appeals to millions of people. That's what I like. How could you possibly do it? Oh, you bring in your own flavors. Your own house band is another flavor.

Stephen Colbert

I look, absolutely, like I'm going to sell you insurance.

Stephen Colbert

Make no mistake: I love women. I'm married to one, I was birthed by one, and I played one in my high school production of 'Romeo and Juliet.' No one else could fit into the bodice.

Stephen Colbert

I believe gender is a spectrum, and I fall somewhere between Channing Tatum and Winnie the Pooh.

Stephen Colbert

I'm not just a pundit - I'm a comedian.

Stephen Colbert