W. C. Fields Quotes

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W. C. Fields

Profession : Comedian

Birth : January 29, 1880

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

W. C. Fields

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

W. C. Fields

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

W. C. Fields

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

W. C. Fields

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

W. C. Fields

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

W. C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.

W. C. Fields

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

W. C. Fields

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

W. C. Fields

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

W. C. Fields

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

W. C. Fields

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

W. C. Fields

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

W. C. Fields

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

I never met a kid I liked.

W. C. Fields

I drink therefore I am.

W. C. Fields

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

W. C. Fields