Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

Zach Galifianakis

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.

Zach Galifianakis

As you get older, you see the world at a different angle, maybe more cynically, but I just bury my anger.

Zach Galifianakis

I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.

Zach Galifianakis

I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.

Zach Galifianakis

When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.

Zach Galifianakis

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

Zach Galifianakis

My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

Zach Galifianakis

Some people can be choosy because they're ultratalented or lucky or whatever, but yeah, there are certain things that might not be the greatest thing on my resume. But I don't sit back and go, 'Gosh, I wish I didn't do that.' It's all part of the growth of a career, whether you're an entertainer or a librarian.

Zach Galifianakis

I talk to younger actor types, and they bring up that word, 'brand,' and it's like, 'All right, if that's the way you want to look at yourself.' Diet Pepsi's a brand; you're a human being.

Zach Galifianakis

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

Zach Galifianakis

Hollywood's built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.

Zach Galifianakis

Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier.

Zach Galifianakis

As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.

Zach Galifianakis

There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.

Zach Galifianakis

A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.

Zach Galifianakis

That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.

Zach Galifianakis

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

Zach Galifianakis

My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

Zach Galifianakis

I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.

Zach Galifianakis

Zach Galifianakis Quotes

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.

As you get older, you see the world at a different angle, maybe more cynically, but I just bury my anger.

I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.

I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.

When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I talk to younger actor types, and they bring up that word, 'brand,' and it's like, 'All right, if that's the way you want to look at yourself.' Diet Pepsi's a brand; you're a human being.

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

Hollywood's built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.

Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier.

As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.

A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.

That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.