Ever notice how it’s a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal.

Steven Wright

I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, ’cause ‘The customer is always right.’

Mitch Hedberg

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

e. e. cummings

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Dr. Seuss

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Milton Berle

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Mahatma Gandhi

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Francis Bacon

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

Clive James

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Victor Borge

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Mark Twain

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

Henry Ward Beecher