Chris Gethard Quotes

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Chris Gethard

Profession : Actor

Birth : May 23, 1980

When my TV show was in production, dozens of women asked me out on Facebook. Some were shy about it; some were blatant. Some I knew, some were total strangers. But they went for it.

Chris Gethard

Having money didn't make me less of a socially incapable loser; it just made me a socially incapable loser who wasn't in debt.

Chris Gethard

I quit drinking in 2002, mere months before my college graduation.

Chris Gethard

I've exceeded the expectations people had for me as an unconfident runt who grew up in North Jersey as well as the expectations I had for myself.

Chris Gethard

I get to do comedy for a living.

Chris Gethard

As a largely unsuccessful comedian, I've become someone that younger people sometimes find and ask for advice, which I'm happy to give, even though it makes me feel old.

Chris Gethard

'What if?' is just about the worst question I can ask myself, and I want to avoid it at all costs for the rest of my life.

Chris Gethard

Northern New Jersey looks like a cluster of idyllic suburbs, but each of those seemingly normal towns has a dark side that's constantly gossiped about but never publicly acknowledged. They seem to thrive on their strangenesses.

Chris Gethard

West Orange, where I grew up, is the hometown of Ian Ziering from 'Beverly Hills, 90210,' Scott Wolf from 'Party of Five,' David Cassidy from the 'Partridge Family,' and Mike Pitt of 'Boardwalk Empire' and 'Dawson's Creek.'

Chris Gethard

The street I lived on for the first handful of years of my life was lined with modest, lower-middle-class houses with small front yards and cracked driveways - your typical North Jersey neighborhood, with all the odd hidden darkness that that implies.

Chris Gethard

Part of North Jersey life is that everyone is obsessed with being tough all the time.

Chris Gethard

I take medications every morning and night - they're my breakfast, and they're my dessert. I love them.

Chris Gethard

Getting help for my issues was one of the hardest things I've ever done, because when I get dangerously sad or manic, those feelings seek to perpetuate themselves.

Chris Gethard

My sadness compels me to hide it so that people won't judge me. Seeking help would have blown my cover. Meanwhile, my mania convinces me that it's making me fun so I'll want to dive further into it. Seeking help would've ruined that good time.

Chris Gethard

My medications make me easier to deal with. They don't interfere with my creativity or turn me into a zombie or dull my real personality. They help me connect with people, allow me to stay calm when situations seem overwhelming, and help keep my thoughts from racing out of control. They help me leave the house when I'm scared to. They help.

Chris Gethard

I moved to Queens from New Jersey in 2004 and have continued to stick with New York to such a degree that when people ask me to explain it, I'm sometimes unable to provide an answer.

Chris Gethard

I've taught people in improv classes, then watched them move to Los Angeles to become Emmy winners and movie stars. That experience, for anyone wondering, is both super exciting and also makes you put a microscope on your own life choices. It causes you to question why you still perform stand-up in so many Brooklyn basements.

Chris Gethard

I know there are many things California can offer - personally, professionally, meteorologically - that New York can't. It sounds awesome.

Chris Gethard

Sometimes I get gigs in weird, artsy places because weird, artsy people embraced my public-access show, which I could only have done in the way I did in New York.

Chris Gethard

I am a stereotypical northeasterner. I'm always in a rush. I've attracted stares from out-of-towners when I've shoved past someone blocking the subway door.

Chris Gethard