Chris Rock Quotes

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Chris Rock

Profession : Comedian

Birth : February 7, 1965

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Chris Rock

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

Chris Rock

President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.

Chris Rock

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

Chris Rock

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Chris Rock

A man is only as faithful as his options.

Chris Rock

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Chris Rock

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

Chris Rock

I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.

Chris Rock

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

Chris Rock

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

Chris Rock

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

Chris Rock

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.

Chris Rock

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

Chris Rock

I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality either. It's the personality of a guy who hasn't been able to say what he wanted to say.

Chris Rock

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

Chris Rock

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

Chris Rock

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

Chris Rock

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Chris Rock