Dane Cook Quotes

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Dane Cook

Profession : Comedian

Birth : March 18, 1972

My mother had a lot of phobias. She's pregnant with me and she was a very phobic person. So I was born into phobia, basically.

Dane Cook

I had the humble beginnings. I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

Dane Cook

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

Dane Cook

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.

Dane Cook

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

Dane Cook

I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

Dane Cook

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks.

Dane Cook

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Dane Cook

No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it's the worst... when you think you're drowning.

Dane Cook

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

Dane Cook

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Dane Cook

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

Dane Cook

I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.

Dane Cook

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Dane Cook

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

Dane Cook

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.

Dane Cook

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

Dane Cook

In the year 3000, everything will be instant.

Dane Cook

As a comedian, I am obligated to tell you the truth, my truth. To share with you my beliefs, my perspective. And I think that we forget sometimes that that's the oath that comics take, that we will go up and share everything - the irreverent, the scary.

Dane Cook

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

Dane Cook