Elayne Boosler Quotes

Author Image

Elayne Boosler

Profession : Comedian

Birth : August 18, 1952

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

Elayne Boosler

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

Elayne Boosler

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Elayne Boosler

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.

Elayne Boosler

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.

Elayne Boosler

A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.

Elayne Boosler

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.

Elayne Boosler

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

Elayne Boosler

Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'

Elayne Boosler

When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star.

Elayne Boosler

I've never been able to write for stand-up.

Elayne Boosler

I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

Elayne Boosler

I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.

Elayne Boosler

I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.

Elayne Boosler

My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant.

Elayne Boosler

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.

Elayne Boosler

San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.

Elayne Boosler

I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.

Elayne Boosler

I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in their stuff after that, that's great - as long as they just have a chance to step back and look at it for a second. Sometimes, you don't even realize what you've been thinking for 20 years.

Elayne Boosler

For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.

Elayne Boosler