George Burns Quotes

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George Burns

Profession : Comedian

Birth : January 20, 1896

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

George Burns

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

George Burns

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

George Burns

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

George Burns

At my age flowers scare me.

George Burns

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

George Burns

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George Burns

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

George Burns

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

George Burns

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

George Burns

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

George Burns

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns