Jasper Carrott Quotes

Author Image

Jasper Carrott

Profession : Comedian

Birth : March 14, 1945

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.

Jasper Carrott

My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.

Jasper Carrott

Celador always ask me to do their shows, and I turned down 'Millionaire.' I couldn't have done it as well as Chris Tarrant, or at least I couldn't have done it any better.

Jasper Carrott

If I were to ask you who the first million-pound show winner was on British TV, you'd probably go for Judith Keppel. She was, indeed, the first 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' contestant to win £1 million, but the first one on TV was actually Clare Barwick, who won £1 million on Chris Evans' show 'TFI Friday.'

Jasper Carrott

When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.

Jasper Carrott

Touring has been a major part of my career. I've done a lot of huge shows, including a 13-night sell-out stint at the Indoor Arena in Birmingham, playing to a total audience of 65,000.

Jasper Carrott

If you were asked to go on 'Mastermind,' what would your specialist subject be? I wouldn't have a clue what I could answer questions on. Birmingham City Football Club would be a start, I suppose, but with a hundred odd years of history, thousands of matches, players and incidents to recall, even access to Google would leave me struggling.

Jasper Carrott

I have realised that my time has come and gone. I'm not bitter, just a realist.

Jasper Carrott

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

Jasper Carrott

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

Jasper Carrott

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

Jasper Carrott

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

Jasper Carrott

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

Jasper Carrott

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

Jasper Carrott

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

Jasper Carrott

The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.

Jasper Carrott

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.

Jasper Carrott

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.

Jasper Carrott

I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.

Jasper Carrott

I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis.

Jasper Carrott