Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

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Jeff Foxworthy

Profession : Comedian

Birth : September 6, 1958

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

Jeff Foxworthy

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

Jeff Foxworthy

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

Jeff Foxworthy

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Jeff Foxworthy

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Jeff Foxworthy

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

Jeff Foxworthy

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

Jeff Foxworthy

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

Jeff Foxworthy

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

Jeff Foxworthy

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

Jeff Foxworthy

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

Jeff Foxworthy

I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.

Jeff Foxworthy

When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'

Jeff Foxworthy

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

Jeff Foxworthy

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Jeff Foxworthy

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

Jeff Foxworthy

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

Jeff Foxworthy

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

Jeff Foxworthy

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

Jeff Foxworthy