Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

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Jeff Foxworthy

Profession : Comedian

Birth : September 6, 1958

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

Jeff Foxworthy

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

Jeff Foxworthy

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

Jeff Foxworthy

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

Jeff Foxworthy

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

Jeff Foxworthy

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

Jeff Foxworthy

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

Jeff Foxworthy

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

Jeff Foxworthy

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

Jeff Foxworthy

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

Jeff Foxworthy

I never thought I would do a game show, but now I guess I'm now officially in that genre.

Jeff Foxworthy