Jeff Garlin Quotes

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Jeff Garlin

Profession : Comedian

Birth : June 5, 1962

When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured - it's either there or it isn't.

Jeff Garlin

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

Jeff Garlin

I do love directing. It's probably my favorite thing that I do.

Jeff Garlin

Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That's why I don't go climb mountains.

Jeff Garlin

I like independent movies, documentaries. There's not a lot of movies that are commercially made that I dig.

Jeff Garlin

Certainly early on, I kind of modeled myself after Steve Martin and Bill Murray. I would imitate them sometimes.

Jeff Garlin

I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the 'Tonight Show' when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren't plugging things per se, and they're just in the moment being interesting.

Jeff Garlin

My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate.

Jeff Garlin

Forget 'full of myself,' I'm not remotely impressed with myself.

Jeff Garlin

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey.

Jeff Garlin

I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David.

Jeff Garlin

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

Jeff Garlin

Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

Jeff Garlin

The only thing that I demand of the audience is that they listen to what I'm saying. Other than that, they owe me nothing. They don't owe me a thing.

Jeff Garlin

I've avoided doing network shows because I don't think they're true to real families.

Jeff Garlin

As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.

Jeff Garlin

I have the bigger iPad, but the Mini is the best. It just seems perfect. The old one seems so big and heavy. I like simple and clean.

Jeff Garlin

Whenever I meet someone who's talented, I always want to write something for them!

Jeff Garlin

Directing is really my favorite thing to do, but if I never directed again, I'd be okay if all the work I did was good.

Jeff Garlin

I don't care what I do - act, stand-up, write, direct - it doesn't matter as long as I'm being creative and it's good work.

Jeff Garlin