Jen Lancaster Quotes

Author Image

Jen Lancaster

Profession : Author

Birth : November 5, 1967

Here's a bit of Discovery Channel for you - apples don't last forever. They can stay fresh for a long time, especially when refrigerated, but definitely not from December into the month of March.

Jen Lancaster

I had been terrified of Halloween my entire adult life. Loved it as a kid, but the minute I got out of college, there were little kids at my door demanding candy, which, No. 1, I couldn't afford, and, No. 2, if I had candy, it would be mine.

Jen Lancaster

I learned to speak Italian, somewhat. Definitely enough to get around in Italy. My grandfather always used to swear at my grandmother in Italian.

Jen Lancaster

Just as I got older, I think I've become more and more conservative.

Jen Lancaster

Now with social media, people essentially come into my living room, my virtual living room, and tell me everything that is wrong with me.

Jen Lancaster

Writing was something I always liked, but it wasn't a career until I was laid off from my executive position in my 30s. I started a website because I was bored, unemployed and angry.

Jen Lancaster

Once I was unemployed and didn't have money, you can't just go to dinner. The onus is on you to learn to cook... I learned how important the right equipment is.

Jen Lancaster

For me, my party views don't advance my narrative. Until I can find a way to write political satire like my idols Christopher Buckley or P.J. O'Rourke, I'll simply say what team I play for and leave it at that.

Jen Lancaster

I guess my most prized pop culture possession is a signed first edition of the book 'Fight Club' by Chuck Palahniuk.

Jen Lancaster

If I had kids, I'd probably be way over-protective, researching everything they begged to see to make sure the content was appropriate.

Jen Lancaster

You know how it's almost impossible for kids to not say what they think? That's me. I have to make the conscious effort to be situationally appropriate.

Jen Lancaster

If I were to run for president, then people would debate the pros and cons of what's wrong with me in increasingly aggressive 140 character tweets and Facebook status updates, and, inevitably, everyone would end up fighting.

Jen Lancaster

I believe that I have such a vanilla life. But maybe I come with a different perspective. I'm always trying to improve myself.

Jen Lancaster

Back in early 1983, my dad was tasked with keeping unions from organizing in his company's distribution centers. His work pulled him away from home for months on end.

Jen Lancaster

Asking me to choose between a traditional book and a Kindle is like asking me which of my dogs I love most.

Jen Lancaster

If forced to choose between a book and a Kindle, I'd opt for the comfort and ease of bound pages. I mean, I can't break a book if I drop it on a cement floor.

Jen Lancaster

I hesitated before buying a Kindle. I wasn't worried that the digital reader would ruin literature as we know it. Rather, my concern centered on using an electronic device in the bathtub.

Jen Lancaster

I didn't understand the Kindle's true value until I finished an e-book on the beach. In sixty seconds - and without benefit of pants - I had brand-new reading material at my fingertips.

Jen Lancaster

I am going to embarrass myself. I have accepted that fact, and that's just how it's going to be.

Jen Lancaster

I learned to glitter the pumpkins for Halloween not because I went into it thinking, 'I'm going to glitter some pumpkins!' No. I bought all of these big, cold, slimy, disgusting pumpkins and tried to carve them, and it was gross, so I had to find something else to do with them. Glitter was life-changing.

Jen Lancaster