Johnny Carson Quotes

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Johnny Carson

Profession : Comedian

Birth : October 23, 1925

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

Johnny Carson

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

Johnny Carson

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Johnny Carson

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Johnny Carson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Johnny Carson

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Johnny Carson

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

Johnny Carson

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Johnny Carson

The mind starts to do things that you didn't even realize it could do. I suppose it's the manipulation. I suppose it's the sense of power, the center of attention, and the me-ism. And performers have to have that.

Johnny Carson

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Johnny Carson

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

Johnny Carson

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Johnny Carson

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

Johnny Carson

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Johnny Carson

I am one of the lucky people in the world: I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Johnny Carson