Lewis Black Quotes

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Lewis Black

Profession : Comedian

Birth : August 30, 1948

One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.

Lewis Black

All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.

Lewis Black

Self-love is a big part of golf.

Lewis Black

Every time I use an app, part of my brain dies! We'll get to the point where we go to bed and wonder: 'Did I have a thought today?' You'll have to go to your 'Thought' app!

Lewis Black

Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun.

Lewis Black

One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school, is to realize you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if you're in an interview and you really want to tell the person off, don't do it.

Lewis Black

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Lewis Black

I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day.

Lewis Black

I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.

Lewis Black

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

Lewis Black

When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip.

Lewis Black

Everybody's got cable.

Lewis Black

I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.

Lewis Black

I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.

Lewis Black

I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape.

Lewis Black

I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time.

Lewis Black

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.

Lewis Black

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.

Lewis Black

If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row.

Lewis Black

I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough.

Lewis Black