Nikki Glaser Quotes

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Nikki Glaser

Profession : Comedian

Birth : June 1, 1984

I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind.

Nikki Glaser

I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday.

Nikki Glaser

My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight.

Nikki Glaser

The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don't understand. It's like, 'I don't want to deal with the fact that some people might have been born in the wrong body.'

Nikki Glaser

My sister was very, very beautiful and I was very not. Doing comedy is the greatest thing ever because you don't have to do that, and I've since learned to let go of that.

Nikki Glaser

The first place I ever performed was at CU Boulder. I went there my freshman year and discovered stand-up after my friends talked me into signing up for a showcase on campus.

Nikki Glaser

I went and hung out at a foot fetish party, and I knew that was a very popular fetish to have, but I didn't realize how amazing it would be to have it.

Nikki Glaser

We just learned about this fetish where guys just give women money and know that they are spending their money. It's not like a sugar daddy thing. It's like financial domination, or something like that. These guys just want to give you money.

Nikki Glaser

Being pretty was always a very big thing growing up.

Nikki Glaser

Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want.

Nikki Glaser

I have always been scared of confrontation. My therapist says it stems from my fear of abandonment.

Nikki Glaser

That's the compliment I get most often - 'You guys are so honest.'

Nikki Glaser

I never feel guilty or anything after a podcast; I feel better.

Nikki Glaser

Make eye contact with cute strangers. Give guys your email. Email is safer than a number, or at least it feels that way.

Nikki Glaser

I just got a new dog, so I was worried that he'd hate the fireworks, and he did, but just because he's not a patriot, not because of the loud sounds. The loud sounds he's fine with - he just hates America.

Nikki Glaser

A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do.

Nikki Glaser

I like putting myself in uncomfortable situations.

Nikki Glaser

I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval.

Nikki Glaser

I'm learning that if you put yourself out there and make fun of yourself first, it really does work. People can't really make fun of you.

Nikki Glaser

Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her and laughing would be incredible.

Nikki Glaser