Nikki Glaser Quotes

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Nikki Glaser

Profession : Comedian

Birth : June 1, 1984

College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest procrastinator, and I learned how to be an efficient procrastinator.

Nikki Glaser

I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find a perspective that no one has hit on.

Nikki Glaser

I started out splitting my time between the Kansas City and St. Louis comedy scenes, which both had bluer sensibilities than other cities that I've worked.

Nikki Glaser

I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty.

Nikki Glaser

I don't feel the same pressure to be perfect up there that I did in the beginning.

Nikki Glaser

I always told my parents, 'Just give me till I'm 27 to do comedy, to make it'.

Nikki Glaser

My logic used to be if I get angry at my boyfriend, he could say, 'Well, if that thing I do that I don't want to stop doing makes you mad, I don't need to be with you. Bye!' And then he'd leave me. Forever.

Nikki Glaser

My boyfriend and I have finally learned how to embrace confrontation as something that will only help us as a couple.

Nikki Glaser

I was going to go to a Gathering of the Juggalos but decided that wouldn't work. They would know I was there to make fun of them. It would be like me going to a Trump rally.

Nikki Glaser

Some of my favorites include 'Walking the Room' and 'Never Not Funny' and 'FitzDog Radio', Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast.

Nikki Glaser

I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life.

Nikki Glaser

I nannied for a couple of months. The kids were super-funny; it made me wish I grew up in a comedy household. But nannying is demoralizing. I'm just not cut out for it.

Nikki Glaser

Temping is the worst. I would rather starve and be homeless than nanny or temp again.

Nikki Glaser