motiveduck
Home
Quotes
Categories
Wallpapers
Authors
Quotes
Categories
Posts
About Us
Top 100 Quotes
View all the top 100 incredible quotes
Quote of the day
Daily inspirational quotes from famous authors and thinkers to motivate, provoke thought, and offer wisdom.
No results found.
Show More
Rita Rudner Quotes
Rita Rudner
Profession : Comedian
Birth : September 17, 1955
Home
Authors
Rita Rudner
Authors by First Letter :
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Rita Rudner
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.'
Rita Rudner
The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.
Rita Rudner
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
My mother's mother is a very tough cookie. She buried three husbands. Two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
On my tombstone it will say: 'I tried everything - nothing was easy.'
Rita Rudner
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Rita Rudner
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
Barbie ruined my life! It's a really bad image for women. For a long time I thought I was deformed - because my heels didn't touch the ground. I was walking around on tiptoes. What's up with that? I think that it's a bad thing for a woman to try to emulate.
Rita Rudner
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.
Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
« Previous
1
2
3
4
Next »