Roseanne Barr Quotes

Author Image

Roseanne Barr

Profession : Actress

Birth : November 3, 1952

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

Roseanne Barr

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Roseanne Barr

I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.

Roseanne Barr

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.

Roseanne Barr

I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.

Roseanne Barr

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

Roseanne Barr

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Roseanne Barr

I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy.

Roseanne Barr

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

Roseanne Barr

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

Roseanne Barr

Excuse the mess but we live here.

Roseanne Barr

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

Roseanne Barr

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.

Roseanne Barr

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

Roseanne Barr

You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for several years. And I have sheds full of things, maybe sometimes nine copies of the same thing.

Roseanne Barr

I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.

Roseanne Barr

I'm God because I have the power to control my mind.

Roseanne Barr

Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice never attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head.

Roseanne Barr

Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.

Roseanne Barr

I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.

Roseanne Barr