Roseanne Barr Quotes

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Roseanne Barr

Profession : Actress

Birth : November 3, 1952

They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!

Roseanne Barr

I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.

Roseanne Barr

Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.

Roseanne Barr

Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.

Roseanne Barr

Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.

Roseanne Barr

As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews.

Roseanne Barr

Just ten of the Jewish billionaires on this Earth have more than enough to transform the occupied territories into heaven. We can put the 'pal' back in Palestinian.

Roseanne Barr

Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?

Roseanne Barr

Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.

Roseanne Barr

I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone.

Roseanne Barr

You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'

Roseanne Barr

I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.

Roseanne Barr

I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.

Roseanne Barr

I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.'

Roseanne Barr

A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.

Roseanne Barr

I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

Roseanne Barr

I'm very introspective, and I mostly don't talk to people. I get into a real quiet, meditative place.

Roseanne Barr

Nobody wanted the 'Roseanne' show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.

Roseanne Barr

Anyone with a show on T.V. will tell you it's backbreaking work. And if you have a big personality, which I have, and you're a perfectionist, there's going to be head-butting.

Roseanne Barr

I gave Joss Whedon and Judd Apatow their first writing jobs, as well as many other untried writers who went on to great success.

Roseanne Barr