Spike Milligan Quotes

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Spike Milligan

Profession : Comedian

Birth : April 16, 1918

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Spike Milligan

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Spike Milligan

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Spike Milligan

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Spike Milligan

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Spike Milligan

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Spike Milligan

It's all in the mind, you know.

Spike Milligan

I have resigned from the human race. Look at the way we treat animals.

Spike Milligan

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

Spike Milligan

I remember lying out in my bed and looking at the vast, quiet sky. Right up above my head, there were three stars in a row, and I remember thinking, 'Well, I'll have those three stars all my life, and wherever I am, they will be. They are my stars, and they belong to me.'

Spike Milligan

We reach a secondary road and - here comes the bonus - we pass the Temple of Neptune and Cerene, at Paestum, both looking beautiful in the sunlight. Strung from the Doric columns are lines of soldiers' washing. At last they had been put to practical use. If only the ancient Greeks had known.

Spike Milligan

The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it.

Spike Milligan

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Spike Milligan

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Spike Milligan

I don't think of depression as contagious. Other depressed people challenge the idea - which can be very persistent and irritating - that there is something odd about you: that you are unique with regard to this wretched state.

Spike Milligan

My parents always threw everything out, gave everything away. I'm surprised they never threw me away. That's why I've always kept my children's things. My parents had no feelings for belongings.

Spike Milligan