W. C. Fields Quotes

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W. C. Fields

Profession : Comedian

Birth : January 29, 1880

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

W. C. Fields

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

W. C. Fields

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

W. C. Fields

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

W. C. Fields

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

W. C. Fields

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

W. C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

W. C. Fields

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

W. C. Fields

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

W. C. Fields