Quotes for Funny

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

Dave Chappelle

We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder.

Andre Maurois

Be obscure clearly.

E. B. White

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

David Ogilvy

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'

Isaac Asimov

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Joey Adams

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

Alanis Morissette

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

George Jean Nathan

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Yogi Berra

If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like.

William Feather

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

Arthur C. Clarke

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way.

Doris Lessing

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

Susan Sontag

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Erma Bombeck

Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.

Edward Abbey

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Robert Orben

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Steven Wright

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Spike Milligan

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

George Burns

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.

Adlai Stevenson I