Bob Mortimer Quotes

Bob Mortimer

Profession : Comedian

Birth : May 23, 1959

There are quite detailed rules with sitcom. When people can leave scenes, act structure, joke rhythm. You can't not have a straight man.

Bob Mortimer

When you've had a heart thing, a lot of the problems are psychological.

Bob Mortimer

We've always been a slightly specialist interest, and as you get older, for specialist interest programmes I think broadcasters are probably looking for younger talent, really.

Bob Mortimer

I have always been a bit of a recluse, but I really was after the heart thing. And everyone knew.

Bob Mortimer

I don't fish but had always wanted to after doing it as a kid.

Bob Mortimer

I don't think old posh is as intimidating as new posh, is it?

Bob Mortimer

I used to like getting cups and putting tiny bits of food and liquids in them. I'd grow mould plumes in the dark wardrobe of my little back bedroom. Not to eat them, mind - just to admire the growing power.

Bob Mortimer

I can't remember ever cooking food to impress a woman. The idea's quite cheesy and sort of makes my skin crawl. But I sometimes make a special effort to impress my cats, with chicken liver or something. It's tricky to know if a cat's impressed. They might give me a little look, a glimpse at least. That's cat ownership for you.

Bob Mortimer

When I was young, having a heart bypass was, 'Woooh!'

Bob Mortimer

After your heart fails, you just feel really vulnerable for a while. You just want telly and your little house. Then, suddenly, three, four months have passed.

Bob Mortimer

I hardly do any exercise because of my arthritis and my joints.

Bob Mortimer

After I had my heart operation I got really into heart stuff. I did think it would be lovely to go on 'Strictly' just so people could see I wasn't finished. But, sadly, now I couldn't because of my joints. I'd be hobbling around.

Bob Mortimer

If you want the best audience, make your way up North to be honest.

Bob Mortimer

I don't know much about history.

Bob Mortimer

I remember when I worked at the solicitor's - you'd go in, talk to your mates for a bit and then get down to work. With us the talking to your mates part never stops.

Bob Mortimer

I come from an era when if you are told that you need a triple heart bypass it sounds pretty terminal. But I think it's quite a normal operation these days.

Bob Mortimer

Before I had my heart problem, if I was asked to do something I would look through a mental file looking for reasons why I could say no.

Bob Mortimer

Our new programmes have always just been different vehicles for the same sort of comedy.

Bob Mortimer

We can write idiots quite well.

Bob Mortimer

Performing in front of an audience gives you an extra ten per cent energy and the chance to react to the instant feedback.

Bob Mortimer