motiveduck
Home
Quotes
Categories
Wallpapers
Authors
Quotes
Categories
Posts
About Us
Top 100 Quotes
View all the top 100 incredible quotes
Quote of the day
Daily inspirational quotes from famous authors and thinkers to motivate, provoke thought, and offer wisdom.
No results found.
Show More
George Carlin Quotes
George Carlin
Profession : Comedian
Birth : May 12, 1937
Home
Authors
George Carlin
Authors by First Letter :
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin
« Previous
1
2
3
Next »
