Ralphie May Quotes

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Ralphie May

Profession : Comedian

Birth : February 17, 1972

If people get their feelings hurt from jokes, then they are too delicate to be in society.

Ralphie May

I've got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel.

Ralphie May

We are all fingers on the same hand. We may not look alike, but we are all needed.

Ralphie May

There's no getting around it - I am a politically incorrect, racially insensitive, culturally controversial comic, but at least I'm self-aware.

Ralphie May

There's a big difference between being racist and racially insensitive.

Ralphie May

I'm honest, at the end of the day - I'm obese, but I'm not obtuse.

Ralphie May

I'm not your usual cup of tea.

Ralphie May

I don't need the fame or power.

Ralphie May

Michigan... it's a great state... somewhere.

Ralphie May

I think it's funny when stereotypes happen.

Ralphie May

The comedians I always loved and respected the most were always filthy degenerates.

Ralphie May

As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.

Ralphie May

I live in a dangerous part of Los Angeles. It's called... Los Angeles.

Ralphie May

I'm dirty, I'm irreverent - but I'm still a very topical comedian.

Ralphie May

My name is Ralphie. How many Ralphie's do you know? It's unique.

Ralphie May

Most comics can't produce the amount of material I produce.

Ralphie May

I do like two hours of new material every year.

Ralphie May

My wife is my teammate. She's my best friend. I love her.

Ralphie May

My audience has accepted me for a long time as, you know, not a fat comedian but a comedian who happens to be fat. That's a huge difference.

Ralphie May

I'd like to be a U.S. senator from Tennessee.

Ralphie May