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Ralphie May Quotes
Ralphie May
Profession : Comedian
Birth : February 17, 1972
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Ralphie May
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You talk to - I had a good fortune of getting to spend a lot of time with Uncle Miltie and guys like Buddy Hackett before they passed away.
Ralphie May
I don't go to comedy clubs unless I'm working. And when I do work, I come in, I do my time and I leave. I don't hang out.
Ralphie May
When somebody's different, it's so easy to dismiss what people say because of what they look like. They really want to judge the book by its cover.
Ralphie May
The perception of fat people in America is that they're fat, therefore they're dumb, they're lazy, and they must stink.
Ralphie May
I'm a fan of old vaudeville theaters.
Ralphie May
I love what I do. I do what I love. I'm honest about it!
Ralphie May
Atlanta is interesting. You have high education rates but there are plenty of regular folks. People have degrees but chop wood on weekends.
Ralphie May
I'm too far to the left for some, too far to the right for others. I'm my own brand of comedy.
Ralphie May
Some nights you walk off stage and go 'That was a good crowd.'
Ralphie May
I don't get much respect from the industry in general, but that's OK. I didn't get into it for respect. I got into it to make people laugh, and that's what I'm doing. That's all I give a damn about.
Ralphie May
I know a way for no Americans to die in Iraq: Leave.
Ralphie May
When I was up for the film 'Dreamcatcher,' to play the role of an overweight kid, I was told I'm too fat to play the fat guy. That's like telling a Mexican to get a tan.
Ralphie May
I loved 'Celebrity Fit Club,' working out six days a week, running a mile and a half three times a week, and doing 1,000 crunches and sit-ups a day with a trainer. I did too much, but I lost 78 pounds of fat and 18 inches around my waist in four months.
Ralphie May
I've been enjoying classes at the gym, where people look at me because I'm fat. At the end of the workout, they're sucking air and I've beaten them because I have more heart, because I had it much harder.
Ralphie May
California is prejudiced about fat people.
Ralphie May
I think there's a bias against fat people on network television.
Ralphie May
My average fan works for about $20 per hour, if they are lucky enough to have a job. And then factoring in insurance, taxes and such, they're maybe bringing home $15 per hour. If my tickets are just under $30, it took them about two hours of their life to make the money to come see my show. Why shouldn't I give them two hours too?
Ralphie May
I don't like being run out of any town.
Ralphie May
I wouldn't want my comedy show to hurt anybody. I'm not Donald Trump.
Ralphie May
I want to raise awareness about evils perpetuated on American citizens by other American citizens.
Ralphie May
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